patience: a minor form of despair disguised as a virtue

something i learned from kids, babies. is patience. i have unlimited patience when it comes to four year olds. i didnt before, but now i do. in fact, i especially love the difficult kids. theyre more interesting, and its more rewarding when your patience pays off and they finally love you and want to play play dough.

so ive been on this big patience kick lately. i know it works. but i cant seem to apply it to....not-kids. its so easy to be unfailingly nice to babies. if i could apply the same patience i put towards a strong willed four year old towards..well, everyone and everything, i know it would have some amazing results. if i could even just be patient with myself, that would be good. just sit through everything. i read "what can't be cured must be endured, time and patience will make it easy." and its probably true, i cant think of anything in my life that time hasnt made easy. you can get used to almost anything if you put up with it long enough. i want to train my brain to respond nicely to everything.

capturing moods

i like sitting in starbucks when its all warmy. it makes me think of "bathed in sunlight," you read that in books. sun bathing. only at 6 o clock in the summer. the prettiest time of all, light split shatters in and every person in there looks ten times more beautiful. split-shattery sun. its like makeup, 100% all natural complete with vitamin D. now, only beautiful people can buy coffee. that combination (plus caffeine?) inspires in overload. the goosebumpy, stomach fluttery feeling when all you want to do is look out that big gorgeous window and think about how great. how perfect. how nonsensically happy your brain thinks you are right now. doesnt it know? it knows but it doesnt care, its so content its just oozing content all over the place. over sun and coffee stores and windows. big gorgeous windows. whats the prettiest thing in the world? keep planning, i'll be it sometime. its the eventual schedule. so eventual, so schedule! i could run off this 6 o clock in the summer inspiration all month. that's hope. check on this, because i read something about it once. "hope is what sets humans apart from animals" or something like that. and then you know it goes, the sky starts sucking it back up and taking it away. 7 o clock in the summer is thoughtful, a cool down, get ready to get out there. if you wrote it down, maybe you can keep your inspiration, your motivation, your makeup. we'll see if this works.